im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
