if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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