Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize