lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
