Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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