you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
