everyone is single if you try hard enough
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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