cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
