At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
