census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
