I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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