Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
