Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
