found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
