Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
