it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
