"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
