babies were throwing up all over the place
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
