We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
