Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
