AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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