if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
