So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
