Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
