thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dick very happy bro
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
