Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
