at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
