NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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