Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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