So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
