literally had 100 drinks last night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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