My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
