That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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