Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
