And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Randomize
