I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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