Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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