OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
