i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
