Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
