Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
