her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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