# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
