I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
