New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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