i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Randomize
