puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
vagina is talking i cant
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
