oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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