another moral hangover. fuck.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
COCAINE IS GR8
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
