hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
