woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
