My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
