ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
