Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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